Faint Voice

I’m choosing to stay anonymous, not because I have something to hide, but because some stories feel safer when they’re told without a name attached. For now, you can call me happygnome. It’s a strange name, I know, but it’s fun, and sometimes that’s reason enough.

I live in Europe now. I moved here when I was 12, originally from East Asia. I won’t specify the country, partly for privacy, because I like the idea that identity doesn’t need to be pinned down to one place. Cultures can be different and familiar at the same time, and I’ve learned to exist somewhere in between.

I have four siblings, and I’m the fourth. The listener. The responsible one. The child who followed the rules because the older ones had already tested them. That role came with pressure, expectations, and a quiet understanding that being dependable mattered. 

I’m a people pleaser (hello, childhood). My parents depended on me, past tense, noted. I’m mostly a daddy’s girl. My relationship with my mom is… complicated. But that’s a story for another day.

Somewhere along the way, I also became a gamer.

I grew up on Nintendo, then came the PS2, PS4, and PS5, each era quietly marking time in my life. I drifted into computer games too, especially fantasy worlds. I’m an avid Sims player (controlling fictional lives feels oddly soothing), and yes, I was deeply, unapologetically addicted to World of Warcraft. There’s something comforting about fantasy worlds when real life feels a little too real.

Somehow, I became a doctor. A doctor with big feelings. Very big feelings. Yes, those things can coexist, I checked

I have a toddler, and I live with my still boyfriend of 10 years. I’m 31.

I’ve lived through joy, loss, tenderness, and moments where life felt heavier than I expected. Writing became my way of making sense of it all. I write these thoughts down so that one day, future me can look back and say, this is where I was, and this is how I grew.

This space is where I let myself be honest, even when it’s messy.

Because humans are interesting like that, aren’t we? So let’s start! Nice to meet you, I hope we’ll get along..